Despite our best efforts, it seems the car gods have chosen not to smile on us yet again. Not only did we miss out on the massive £150m Euromillions payout last month, but we also roundly failed to win so much as a penny in last week's UK Lottery, which has just celebrated its 20th anniversary.
But none of that is going to stop us taking to the classifieds and advising the lucky few on what they should be buying.
Scroll down for the C&SC team's suggestions, plus a roundup of the top five lottery-level picks from our classified pages.
Car: Porsche 911 2.7 RS
This is a game that, like most people, I have regularly played, but usually with a choice of five cars rather than just one. If, however, my lottery numbers did come up, there would definitely be space in my garage for a 911 2.7 RS. I don't care that this one isn't a Lightweight. The only example I've ever driven was a Touring, and it was sublime. Great engine, great exhaust note, great handling, great looks. 'POA' probably translates to somewhere in the region of £500,000, but who cares when you've won the lottery?
Car: Mini Moke
Last month, as I was devising ways of spending my £150million Euromillions win, there was a serious quandary to be resolved. Obviously, I was busy speccing out my villa on the French Riviera and filling my motorhouse (it would be far too grand to be called a garage) with Ferrari 250GT Short Wheelbase, Jaguar D-type, Mercedes-Benz 300SL ‘Gullwing’ et al, but the most crucial detail was how I would travel from the chateau to the cars when I wanted to take them for a spin. A Fiat 500/600 Jolly is too much of a cliché on the Côte D’Azur, a Shellette a maybe and a Mehari or Plein Air far too much pandering to my new neighbours. No, I would take with me my own little bit of bonkers British brilliance, a Mini Moke. The ideal playboy millionaire’s utility vehicle.
Car: Lancia Stratos
They don’t much more exotic than the original, purpose-built rally homologation special. This is believed to be the first production car, which may explain the price: it doesn’t say on our website, but the vendor is asking a cool £475,000. As my namesake on Autosport pointed out, though, it needs the spoiler on the back to finish it off, but it is “a thing of beauty”. And even if had sold by the time you’d pitched up at Joe Macari’s stunning new showroom, there’s still the 365GTC/4, GTO rep or the sublime 250 Lusso – but that’s probably more than a lottery win!
Car: Ferrari F40
Faced with the overwhelming choice that a lottery win would allow, it's telling that none of my colleagues have opted for the most expensive classic available. Instead, they've chosen cars that mean something to them – and I'm no different.
The Ferrari F40 may not be the most valuable car to be built in Modena, and certainly isn't the most beautiful. It isn't terribly practical, nor is it comfortable. But for many in my age box (25-30), it is one of the most exciting and desirable cars to wear a prancing horse badge. To say it was a game changer would be a bit of a stretch, but it certainly carried the torch for some time – it still possesses that magical quality that can stop people in their tracks as it rumbles down the road. For me, it will always belong in the rarified air occupied by the Countach, XJ220 and Veyron.
Should the recent Euromillions winner decide that the Ferrari is for them, they'll have a clear advantage over most F40 owners – being rich enough to actually drive it.
One of the most beautiful cars to ever emerge from Italy, and possbily the most desirable Lamborghini ever built. The Miura is as sexy as they come. This example is finished in a stunning shade of orange and has a file of receipts totalling more than £365,000. Jeepers.
The Ferrari 288GTO is a ballistic missile of a car, and perfect for those who want to go just about as fast as they like. The twin-turbocharged monster looks incredible too, so you won't feel out of place when your right boot isn't welded to the floor.
Ok, you got us – this isn't the Embericos Bentley. But it's as close as you're likely to get, even with a bottomless pit of money. It took more than eight years to complete, and we think they've made a decent fist of it.
When it comes to glamour, you'll be hard-pressed to beat the swooping lines and Art Deco styling of a Delahaye. This Figoni et Felaschi-bodied 135 Competition is one of just a handful made, and is perfect for making an impression that has nothing to do with the vulgar pursuit of brake horse power and miles-per-hour. Lovely.
Lets face it, being rich is all about having fun. We don't think there's much in our classifieds that will offer more smiles-per-mile than this Amphicar 770. And to top it off, there'll be enough left in the pot to buy somewhere to drive it. Like a small island.
Disagree with any of our choices? Why not browse the classifieds to find your dream lottery classic.