24 times we’ve not known what they’re thinking
The manufacturer press shot: the lifeblood of car magazines, websites and bloggers.
These days the car makers’ press shoots are slick affairs, employing industry-leading photography, amazing locations and many hours of manipulation in the computer afterwards – and they are entirely centred on the car. But it wasn’t always this way.
In the past, cars were sold on aspirational lifestyles, rightly or wrongly. Wider social change means that this rarely happens now – it also means that trawling the press picture archive, particularly from the ’80s and ’90s, provides amusement, bafflement and general concern for the press officers’ wellbeing at the time.
Here are 24 examples of automotive press photo weirdness – which is your favourite?
1. Ford Sierra Cosworth
One common theme through 1980s and ’90s press photography is the somewhat bizarre practice of shooting the car in a static position, but leaving a somewhat awkward-looking chap, usually with similarly awkward-looking facial topiary, sat in the driver’s seat.
In fairness, having been on the end of the hairdryer treatment from several angry photographers in the past, we can understand the urge to hide in the car all afternoon, but we’re even more understanding in this case – I mean, who wouldn’t want to keep hold of the keys to a Cossie?
2. Alfa Romeo Alfetta GTV
At a time when Italian cars were being lambasted for their perhaps over-hyped ability to corrode before the very eyes of their owners, someone in the Alfa Romeo press department decided to park this impressive Giugiaro-styled coupé on a beach.
We’ll never know what the couple behind it thought of it all, though perhaps they’re just committing its stylish form to memory as it’s entirely likely it might have been just the tyres and subframe by the time they’ve come back from the pub?
3. Jeep Cherokee
Aspiration used to mean horses. Lots of horses. Skip through the motoring archives and you’ll find everything from Audis to Fiats popping up in stable yards.
At least in this case you could argue the Cherokee suits the environment a little more than an Audi 80, but couldn’t the photographer have waited for the look of abject disappointment at the sight of the Jeep fade away from both model and horse’s faces?
4. Jaguar E-type
Now, while what’s acceptable in terms of press photography has changed and, as it goes, this is fairly restrained.
But what we can’t understand is why we’re in an ominous-looking leopard-print room – maybe it is a Jaguar print? Rather than the intended effect, it makes us thing think we’re in some sort of David Lynch fever dream and it is rather headache-inducing.
Not to mention unnecessary, when trying to promote arguably one of the world’s most beautiful cars.
5. Hyundai Elantra
A big trope from ’80s and ’90s press photography is a man on a phone, with a briefcase, stood next to an executive saloon.
It was still going well into the 2000s, with similar male models showing they’re doing very business things with a very business face.
We’ve picked the Elantra because on this occasion it seems as if he’s looked at this hapless Hyundai and decided to call a cab instead.
6. Citroën 2CV
This French offering is another reminder that what’s acceptable in advertising has changed over the years.
Still, we get this is trying to convey a carefree, fun-filled lifestyle. The trouble is, this poor woman seems to have been scooped up along the way…
7. Audi 100
If horses weren’t aspirational enough in the ’80s and ’90s, press officers could always rely on another staple: the gliding club.
We can see the thought process – serene travel and all that – but often the car appears to be dumped in the middle of the runway.
Surely that’s the unwanted behaviour that’d get you thrown out of the gliding club?
8. Cadillac Catera
Admittedly, on first glance, there doesn’t seem to be much weird about this press image.
But then this is the Cadillac Catera, widely believed by American list writers to be one of the worst cars ever sold.
While we’ve not driven a Catera, only the (very much acceptable) European Opels/Vauxhalls it shared a platform with, we can only take the glazed, depressed look of the poor woman in the advert as her knowing, even from the press shot, that this was a ‘world car’ too far for General Motors…
9. Ford Mustang II
Another car that regularly appears on internet ‘worst ever’ lists is the Mustang II, and we can again only assume one of the models in this photo has realised the future will not look brightly upon the car she’s helping to publicise.
Does that explain why she seems to smacking her colleague in the face with some flowers?
10. Peugeot 205 CJ
Now, we love the Peugeot 205. Even the convertibles, despite them not being quite as dynamically pure as the tin-tops.
However, we’ve never, ever, considered taking one for a romantic picnic by the river. Judging by the existential dread plastered across the poor lady’s face, she might be wondering how it all came to this, too…
11. RenaultSport Clio V6
We can only presume in this case that the aforementioned Audi Man, that terroriser of the boating and gliding clubs, has now moved on to the golfing world by parking this mid-engined machine slap bang on the fairway.
Either that or the car’s famed twitchiness has meant these dapper people have accidentally taken a shortcut on the way back from the clubhouse…
12. BMW 1602
You know how it is, you’re on holiday in your BMW 1602 somewhere in Bavaria. You stop for some refreshment and a crowd of yodellers descend to take over your car.
Still, they seem rather pleased about it. When do we get the BMW back?
13. Rover 114/Metro
Rover special editions were a bit like cigarettes: the posher the name, the cheaper the car.
Here the Ascot edition is shown with an enormous superimposed woman outside a hat shop.
This rather takes the biscuit for deploying a woman so huge in the press photo in a bid to take attention away from the car.
14. Citroën AX
The other trope for lifestyle photoshoots of the era was that of the doting mother.
However, in the case of this particular Citroën advert, perhaps one should tell the mum that the petting zoo tends to look badly on you taking the exhibits home.
15. Mercury Cougar
If you live in an area where cats roam free, then you may have become accustomed to the local moggies using your pride and joy as a place to keep out of the rain, or if you’re unlucky, as a mildly warm day spa.
While you can usually scare off these unwanted visitors, I’m not sure trying the same tactic will work with this with this super-sized feline friend.
We’re not sure what the point of this is – and we’re worried about the car’s paintwork.
16. Volvo 850
Volvo cars have been renowned for years for their ruggedness, their load-lugging abilities and their safety.
All of this is thrown out of the window for this Volvo 850 press shot. Parking it there is hardly safe, is it?
17. Nissan Almera and Tino
Now, the Almera and Tino were hardly the most exciting cars Nissan produced.
But we’d have loved to have been in the pitch meeting for this one. We have no idea.
18. Renault Twingo
Renault has one of the biggest reputations for bizarre press photoshoots and this classic of the genre for the Twingo is right up there.
To be fair, we kind of get it. It’s about being small and spacious, with a big character, all that good marketing stuff.
But does this photo make you want to buy a Renault Twingo?
19. Oldsmobile Toronado
Heading a bit further back in time, let’s enjoy this somewhat dystopian image, a monochrome world of men behind desks, with your prospective new car sat in the middle of them.
Is the Toronado the escape? Or a way of fitting in? Or has the Toronado’s front-wheel drive and V8 conspired to reverse you unceremoniously into the office?
20. Isuzu Trooper
Ah! Something appears to have become confused here…
We have a mix up between the field and horse trope, the businessman trope and the woman with kids on holiday trope.
There’s a 4x4 in a field, there’s a briefcase and there’s a woman. Progressive? Perhaps. Or you might wonder quite what somebody’s doing with a briefcase in a field.
21. Buick LeSabre
There’s a lot to unpack in this image.
Firstly, the disinterested look of the two chaps in racing jackets, contrasted with the similarly disinterested look of the predominantly fast-food vendors in the background.
It seems as if we’ve wandered into the Daytona 500 as directed by Stanley Kubrick, in some kind of strange AI generation from the afterlife.
22. Renault 5
Here someone’s decided to park their Renault 5 right in the middle of someone else’s lunch.
Either that or the same disorder that led to someone taking their Peugeot 205 to a picnic has now developed into romantic meals out.
23. Ford Cortina
This is another one of those ‘what’s the narrative here?’ pictures.
The couple in the background trope is a well used and an understandable one, but why do we have two grim-faced men driving away down a dirt track?
One for the British gangster film scriptwriters to work with? Probably.
24. Renault Sport Spider
A stone-cold favourite in the press shot archive. I mean, what better way to illustrate your brand-new sports car than with what looks like a gang of marauding Power Rangers following the seemingly oblivious young couple at the heart of the advert?
Bonus points for this particular shot, which not only obscures any details of the car, but makes said Power Rangers look like a death squad…
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