10 automotive styling mishaps

A rogues’ gallery of bad design decisions

Creatives, eh? Always pushing the envelope in their quest to be different.

Of course when they get it right we marvel at the results and applaud their brilliance. But when they get it wrong… well, then we stand in a metaphorical circle poking fun at them.  

And that's exactly what we're about to do here, in this list of 10 styling quirks that aimed for daring and ended up hitting disastrous instead.

And yes, somehow the fabled Miura makes it into our selection…

1. The Austin Allegro’s headlamps

Never trust a car with its lights too close together. Aesthetically dubious, the Allegro’s face communicated a depressing lack of confidence – which, coincidentally, is what anyone driving one would also likely be experiencing.

2. The Mercedes-Benz 300SL’s wing blisters

Whether in Gullwing or Roadster form, the Mercedes-Benz 300SL is an all-time classic – a winning blend of dramatic aerodynamic flourishes and sensuous lines. 

It’s not beyond criticism, though. Those wing blisters are fussy and largely functionless – although admittedly some aerodynamic benefit may have accrued. Jensen ill-advisedly used the same device on its 541.

3. Opera windows

A craze that struck (mostly) American cars in the 1970s. Bogus classiness that just looks medallion-man vulgar, plus the shapes rarely harmonised with the rest of the body. 

4. The Volkswagen 411’s headlamps

Probably the most inept use of ‘television screen’ oval lamps – although the Citroën Ami 6 and Renault 10 deserve dishonourable mentions.

5. Fake spare-wheel humps

Presumably Lee Iacocca thought this tasteful when he pushed for it, along with the Rolls-alike grille, for the 1968 Continental Mark III. This exercise in automotive decadence had six feet of bonnet and pioneered the equally dodgy feature of ruched trim.

6. Indicators in mirrors

As if Mercedes mirrors aren’t expensive enough to replace already. Alas, much of the industry is now following the German marque down this daft alleyway.

7. Mini Clubman Di-Noc

We can all agree that the Mini is a design classic in most regards. But this dummy wood trapped water and bore no relation to the wooden structure of the old-time estates it was supposedly evoking.

8. The Volvo 145’s rear doors

For the sake of a few Krona, the 145 estate was saddled with the saloon’s downward-curving rear doors – blighting the car’s already hardly inspiring looks.

9. The dummy vents on the Ford Capri MkI

The Capri may commonly be regarded as ‘The British Mustang’, but the first version of this appropriately crass detail was a pale imitation of the much more convincing dummy vents on the American Pony car.

10. The Lamborghini Miura’s ‘eyelashes’

The Miura is another car that’s typically beyond reproach design-wise – and with good reason.

The game-changing supercar caused a sensation when it launched at the Turin Motor Show on 3 November 1965 and regularly features in lists of the most beautiful cars of all time. It’d be in ours. 

But those eyelashes? Along with the slatted rear window, it’s surely a case of trying too hard. And what’s such a masculine car doing fluttering big black eyelashes at you anyway?